You make a mistake, you keep going
by Megg22
Summary: How are the Ewings really coping with JR's death? Behind the scheming for revenge there is a broken family who have lost a father, brother, husband, uncle... This is the Ewing family.
1. Chapter 1

**I've been convinced to write something again, and based on how much I love this show it just had to be Dallas. This fic will focus on most of the characters with some reference to what's going on in the show but nothing concrete and a lot of it is my own creation. Of course, the characters themselves belong to Dallas TNT but I hope you will enjoy my version of their story. **

"Dad, are you sure this dinner is a good idea? I mean, I know you're just trying to get us all together as a family, but, well, I just can't see everyone sitting down as if nothing's happened." Christopher couldn't help voicing his doubts to his father. He could see how determined he was to get the Ewings to stop all the fighting and start acting like a family and he feared how disappointing it would be when, as usual, the Ewings failed at this task.

"Son, I know I can't just expect us to become one big happy family. Lord, I know better than anyone what we've all been through, but that's exactly why I think we all need to sit down together; we need to communicate for us to be able to mend these cracks before we break apart." Bobby smiled at his son and hoped that he could understand why he was doing this.

"And anyhow, we can't let all this good food go to waste now can we?" Added Ann in the most cheerful tone she could muster. She had exactly the same doubts as Christopher, but as she'd watched her husband work tirelessly to ensure that all the family would agree to this meal she hadn't found it in her heart to say anything to him. Instead, she supported him as always and attempted to lighten the mood before the others arrived.

"Mmm, you are so right Annie that is delicious." Bobby commented as Ann spooned him a taste of the soup she was preparing to serve as a starter from the pan, "but hot!" he added teasingly as he gulped from a glass of water to lessen the burning of his tongue.

As the pair laughed, Christopher checked his phone. "Elena's just arriving; I'm going to go let her in." He informed them as he left the kitchen.

"Hi." Elena wrapped her arms around Christopher and gave him a kiss on the cheek as he opened the door to her.

"Hey, you're early, dinner's not quite ready." He smiled and kissed her back.

"Oh I know, I just thought I'd come and make sure you were alright before everyone arrived, I know you've not been looking forward to this." Her words were comforting and Christopher smiled knowing that she was on his side. Recently, they'd had enough troubles of their own and it had felt like they were spilt between their own families but tonight they could face things as a couple.

"Hmm, you're right, I'm still not sure that this is going to work out, but Dad and Ann are so set on it going well so let's try our best to smile and get through it." He placed his arm around her waist and walked with her back towards the kitchen where Bobby and Ann's voices could be heard.

"Hi guys, sorry I'm so early." Elena walked over to the couple and exchanged hugs and kisses in a warm welcome.

"Don't be silly, you're welcome here any time of the day or night it's just that the food is still cooking so can I get you a drink instead?" Booby, always so welcoming, made sure that Elena knew how important a part of their family she was. He'd also noticed the distance between her and Christopher recently and one of his many motives for the night was to make sure they mended things between them.

"I would love a glass." Elena smiled as Bobby held up a bottle for approval.

"I wouldn't mind a glass of that too." Emma spoke as she came into the room from upstairs and smiled a greeting at everyone.

"Oh, it sounds like someone else has arrived." Ann stated as she heard the doorbell ring. "Bobby could you get that please, I must make sure this doesn't burn."

"Sure honey." Bobby said, handing the glasses of wine to Elena and Emma before going to open the door.

"John Ross." Bobby shook his nephew's hand as he welcomed him into the house.

"Uncle Bobby." It was their usual short address to one another but it seemed a little less frosty. It had taken a long time for Bobby to convince John Ross to come along, he'd been convinced that it was all a ploy and that business tricks would be the main course, so Bobby was pleased that he'd actually turned up.

"Come on through, we're still waiting for Sue Ellen to arrive but dinner won't be long now."

John Ross followed Bobby into the kitchen where he was greeted a little less warmly than Elena had been moments earlier. Bobby had never expected tensions to simple vanish but they could be felt a little harshly as John Ross and Christopher made eye contact.

"Cousin, what are you drinking?" It was Christopher who made this first move, he couldn't deny that he didn't want John Ross there any more than his cousin wanted to be there but for his father's sake he decided it was best to be the bigger person.

John Ross accepted the offer, not only for the drink but for peace between the cousins – for one evening at least. Everyone took their places at the table, chatting over their drinks as Ann continued cooking and from the outside it would appear that this was one big happy family.

"Bobby this soup is almost ready to serve; do we know what's holding Sue Ellen up?" Ann asked politely, they'd told everyone that dinner would be served at seven, now at ten past Ann was a little anxious that the food was going to be dry, if not burnt.

"No, John Ross do you know where your mother is? I thought she might be coming here with you."

"I spoke to her earlier and she just said she'd meet me here, didn't mention where she was going but she said there was something she had to do."

"Alright, well you start dishing up Annie and I'll go and give Sue Ellen a call."

Bobby was out of the room for a few moments whilst Ann made sure everyone had enough soup and bread and topped up the drinks – the perfect hostess, before her husband came back in to join them.

"She didn't pick up. I left a message but I don't think we can let this lovely food get cold so why don't we start and I'm sure she'll be here soon enough." Bobby smiled as he encouraged everyone to tuck in. It was unlike Sue Ellen to be late, at least without letting anybody know why, but everything was going to smoothly that he just wanted to start enjoying the meal.

As the starter finished and the main course was served compliments flew about the room for Ann's cooking and she graciously accepted them. There was still no sign of Sue Ellen but the guests refrained from commenting as light conversation flowed and nobody wanted to spoil an evening which was going surprisingly well.

Ann was clearing away the empty plates of what was a beautiful main meal when a knocking was heard at the door.

"Gosh someone's eager to get in." Commented Emma as the crashing at the door increased.

"Maybe it's Sue Ellen." Christopher added.

"My mamma knows how to use a doorbell thank you very much." John Ross sniped, unable to hold back from sneering at his cousin.

"Now, now, be quiet and I'll go see who it is." Bobby didn't want things to start getting out of hand at the dinner table but whoever was at the door was making a huge racket so he got up to see who was causing the disturbance.

"Where is he?" A voice was heard shouting as Bobby opened the door and those at the table quietened to listen to what was going on.

"I said; where is he Bobby?" The voice grew louder as the person came into the house.

"You bastard!" She shouted at she stormed into the room and everyone looked rather surprised to see that it was Sue Ellen.

"Mamma?" John Ross looked bewildered as his mother stormed over to him then slapped him.

"All those times you hurt me JR and I still loved you. I was such a fool, I still am! You use people and hurt people and I'm not taking it anymore, you hear me?" There was silence as Sue Ellen screamed at her son until Bobby intervened.

"Sue Ellen, stop." He didn't shout but pulled her away from John Ross to stop her from hitting him again.

"Get your hands off me Bobby, I'm gonna kill him!" She struggled in his arms.

"Mamma, it's me, it's John Ross." He desperately tried to get his mother to recognise him but she continued to shout, convinced that the man before her was JR.

"Sue Ellen, how much have you had to drink?" Bobby turned her round to face him, holding her shoulders so that she stood upright. "How much drink Sue Ellen?" He asked again when she didn't respond.

"Bobby, why didn't I marry you?" Her words slurred now as she stopped screaming and began to cry.

"I'm not going to stand here and listen to this." John Ross pushed past his mother and Bobby to leave the room, not wanting anyone to see the tears in his own eyes – he hadn't seen his mother like this in as long as he could remember, and it hurt.

"Bobby let's take her upstairs, she looks like she needs to lie down." Ann soothingly rubbed Sue Ellen's arm as she lulled in Bobby's arms.

"I just want him back, Bobby I need JR back, I have to tell him I love him." She sobbed uncontrollably and Christopher came over to help his father hold her up.

"Alright, it's alright Sue Ellen, let's get you upstairs." Bobby allowed Christopher to take half of Sue Ellen's weight so that they could both guide her upstairs. The scene had brought memories flooding back for Bobby – countless times he had needed to carry a drunken Sue Ellen upstairs and once again it was because of JR.

"I'll make sure she's alright Bobby, you both go downstairs, I think dinners over." Ann attempted to smile but everyone looked solemn as they left the room.

"Pamela?" Sue Ellen looked dazed as she laid her head back on the pillow.

"No, Sue Ellen it's me Ann. I think you best get to sleep my love; you're going to have one hell of a headache in the morning." She drew the covers over her friend and gently pushed her hair away from her forehead.

A tear ran down Sue Ellen's cheek as she looked into Ann's eyes and whispered, "I loved him so much Pamela."

"I know you did darling." Ann said with a tear in her own eye now that she saw how fragile this woman was, "I know."

**Please comment and let me know what you think, many thanks, M :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**I hope everyone will continue to enjoy, thank you to those who commented I'll always keep ideas in mind. There's a few references to the old Dallas in this part, maybe some of you are fans of original Dallas like me too! Still, for the main part it's just my imagination. **

"How is she?" Bobby asked his wife as she quietly made her way downstairs some time later.

"She finally dozed off but lord was she in a state Bobby! She thought I was Pam and kept talking about JR and the past and well, I've never seen her so upset – so vulnerable."

"Unfortunately, it was all too familiar for me." Bobby shook his head.

"She was this bad, every time?" Ann couldn't keep the shock out of her voice. She'd known that Sue Ellen had suffered with alcoholism, the woman had been open and honest about her troubles herself, but seeing it for her own eyes now, she could never have imagined quite how bad things were.

"Sometimes worse, it's just so horrible seeing her like that again, after all this time of being sober. She'd been doing so well Annie, moving on with her life and really trying to make something of herself. My brother never truly treated her right and Sue Ellen was damaged but I was so proud of her when she stopped drinking, and now…"

"She'll beat it again Bobby, she's got all of us here to help her. This was a blip, she's been through so much and well, she never really grieved for JR, not properly anyhow."

"All JR caused that woman is grief, and now his not even here to be angry with."

"Here, have a drink." Ann passed her husband a glass and took a sip from her own which she had just filled with wine.

"Annie I'm so sorry about the meal, you worked so hard on it and we didn't even finish properly."

"Don't you dare apologise Bobby, some things are more important than meals and, well, it had been going pretty well. You should be proud; you brought everyone together just like you wanted." Ann hoped that she was saying the right thing, the meal had been so important to her husband and she was afraid that he'd been disappointed.

"Oh I think there's a lot more work to be done to get this family back together Annie, a hell of a lot more work." Bobby sighed but then smiled at his wife, grateful that she was there to support him, however hard things got. "I think we should get to bed ourselves, I'd like to think things could have all blown over by morning but somehow I doubt that very much."

The couple locked up downstairs and then made their way to bed, both hoping that they would be ready to deal with whatever the following day would bring.

"Good morning." Sue Ellen sheepishly walked into the kitchen where Ann and Bobby were eating breakfast. When she had woken up she'd nearly had a heart-attack finding herself back in her old room after all of those years. Then, as the headache had kicked in she'd started to realise what had happened and after putting off for as long as possible, realised that she needed to face her family.

"Morning Sue Ellen, how are you feeling? Would you like some breakfast?" Ann walked over to the woman understating how uncomfortable she must have been feeling.

"Well, umm, I've felt better. I'm not too hungry but I'd love a coffee if it's not too much trouble." She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so embarrassed. The way Ann was looking at her, with this sadness, almost pity which was something she couldn't bear, and Bobby, well he hadn't looked at her at all and she desperately hoped she hadn't said anything unkind to him – he meant so much to her. That was the problem, she couldn't remember very much about the night before at all which made it all the more terrifying to have to face other people, because they would remember – very clearly.

"Are you sure you couldn't manage something small to eat Sue Ellen? I mean it might make you feel a little better."

"Annie, she's old enough to make her own decisions, let her be." Bobby's words came out a little harsher than he'd intended, but all three of them realised that his anger wasn't aimed at his wife.

"Thank you Ann, just the coffee is lovely," she took the hot cup from her friends hand then moved towards the table where Bobby was sat, "would you give us a moment please Ann?" She asked kindly, feeling even more uncomfortable in asking the woman to give her privacy in her own home, but realising that she needed to face Bobby sooner rather than later.

"Of course, I'll be outside if you need me." She smiled at her husband and Sue Ellen as she left the room.

"Bobby I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what Sue Ellen? For ruining the meal, drinking yourself into oblivion, hitting your own son? What exactly are you sorry for?" He didn't shout, it wasn't in his nature to raise his voice unless he really had to but he sure was angry.

Sue Ellen sheepishly dropped her head at his words, knowing that all of those things, and probably worse had happened the night before because of her stupidity. She stroked the rim of her coffee cup, not feeling that she deserved to take a sip of the soothing liquid it contained. "For all of those things Bobby, but mostly for letting you down, for being weak and running to the bottle again – I was foolish and –"

"Don't tell me that you won't do it again Sue Ellen, don't bother saying that to me if it's not the truth, it only makes it hurt more."

"I'm sorry."

"And stop apologising, please, it's not me you've let down, not really. The person you hurt the most is yourself, it always has been and I thought you'd learnt that lesson – God knows you went through enough tough times to learn it the hard way." The anger was beginning to diminish and now the true hurt that Bobby felt was starting to show. Sue Ellen had become a sister to him and time after time he'd had to watch her destroy herself, and for the first time in his life he needed to tell her how that made him feel. He needed to make her see that turning to alcohol was not the option, especially not when so many people care about her. "But it's not just about you anymore either darling, you need to speak to John Ross. Last night he, he was, you…"

"Say it Bobby."

"I think you scared him. He puts on his mask, pretends he doesn't care, just trying to be like his father but last night, he was a little boy again Sue Ellen, your little boy and he needs you but you – that wasn't you."

Sue Ellen rested her head in her hands, both soothing her growing headache and shielding her face from Bobby's gaze. The last person who'd spoken so honestly to her about her problem had been Miss Ellie and although Bobby had always been around in the past when she'd stumble home drunk or pass out, she'd never realised how he'd felt. Back then she'd always been so selfish, so consumed in her own and JR's life that nobody else ever mattered, but she was different now – regardless of last night, she'd changed and she couldn't bear to be that woman who hurt others.

"Bobby you're right," she looked up at him know, knowing that looking away wasn't protecting her from anything, "I will talk to John Ross, I'm going to make it up to him – not just for last night but for all those times I've let him down. And Bobby, I know apologising isn't enough but I didn't mean to put you through all of that again, having to see me so low – I'm really sorry for ruining dinner, can you forgive me?" She was asking for so much more than simply the forgiveness for ruining a meal.

"Of course I forgive you Sue Ellen, I'll always be here for you, you know that, but we have to make things right. Not just with you but with this whole family."

"John Ross. John Ross open up, we need to talk. I know you're angry; I've spoken to Bobby and I know there's a lot I need to apologise for but I can't do that if you won't open this door and speak to me." Sue Ellen consistently tapped on her sons door, unwilling to give up on him.

The door began to open and Sue Ellen smiled with relief but it wasn't her son who was at the door, a young blonde girl who was still wearing clothes and make-up from what could only have been the night out before was leaving. She glanced at Sue Ellen quickly before the rushed past her and left, not wanting to be any part of a family feud when all she'd wanted was a little fun with a good looking guy. Sue Ellen watched the girl leave but kept a hand on the door so that it didn't close on her again, allowing her to step inside.

"That's not the way to deal with problems John Ross." Sue Ellen found her son in his bed, wrapped up in a mess of sheets as he sat glaring at her.

"What's that mamma?" He replied sarcastically.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, the sleeping around. You should be looking for love, not just a quick –"

"Oh so we're being a concerned mother this morning huh, how refreshing." The distaste in his voice hurt Sue Ellen but she stood strong, she couldn't afford to back down to her son at a time like this. "I figured my way of 'dealing' with things was a darn sight better than yours. I didn't drink myself stupid, embarrass myself in front of my family – so who are you to tell me how I should deal with my own life!"

"I'm your mother John Ross and I care about you, I don't want you making the same mistakes as me, or your father for that matter."

"Don't even talk about him, all you really cared about what his money wasn't it?"

"Don't you dare talk to me like that!" Now she was angry too, she realised that she'd hurt her son but she felt that she deserved more respect than this.

"Or what, are you going to hit me again?" That hit here where it hurt. John Ross and got up and walked closer and closer to his mother as they'd argued and now they stood face to face. "Come on then, hit me."

"Don't tempt me John Ross. For too long I let you go on chasing your father, wanting to be just like him well it's over now. He's gone and we have to deal with that."

"My father may be dead but that will never stop me from looking up to him. I needed one parent to respect, to look up to and that will never be you."

Sue Ellen was speechless, she'd watched her son's temper rise before but never like this, there was real hate in his eyes and she couldn't take it any longer.

"I'm going to speak to you again when you've calmed down because I don't believe you mean all of this, not really."

"Well maybe this will make you see what I mean. Get out."

Sue Ellen didn't move.

"Get out and don't you ever come back here. I never want to see you again. You're as dead to me as JR because I've had it with the both of you screwing up my life."

There were tears in Sue Ellen's eyes at her son's hurtful words and she prayed he didn't mean them. Her mind was spinning with all of the things she desperately wanted to say to him but she couldn't speak a word. Instead she began to leave but before she walked out she turned towards her son. _I love you _she said silently.

As his mother left, John Ross slouched back down on the end of his bed and rubbed his neck as anger still boiled through him. He sat silently for a moment before deciding that the best thing to do would be to have a shower and get ready to face a new day. As he stood up he heard a loud noise almost a crashing coming from outside his door and with it a scream.

"Mamma?" Instinctively John Ross ran out and down the short corridor calling for his mother until he reached the main hallway. Still calling, he pushed the button for the lift but something told him that there wasn't time to wait so he took the nearby stairs and that's when he saw her. Sprawled at the bottom, Sue Ellen had fallen down the whole flight and lay unconscious in spreading pool of her own blood.

**Bit of a cliff hanger... Hopefully you'll be interested in some more, when I get ideas I just like to write, write, write so I'm sure there will be more soon for anyone who's interested. Let me know in your comments. M :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's the next part! I hope everyone is enjoying the story. **

"What happened?" He ran down the flight of stairs as quickly as possible to kneel next to his mother. An older couple stood a little away from her body and John Ross directed his question at them once again, "I asked what the hell happened here?"

"Son, we just heard a scream and came to see what had happened ourselves. She must have fallen." It was the man who spoke, his wife was on the phone, "Jenny here's calling an ambulance, they'll be here in no time son, it's alright."

"No it's not, it's not alright at all." John Ross muttered, no longer listening to the man but looking down at his mother.

It felt like forever before the ambulance arrived and with each second John Ross prayed that she would be alright as he gently held her hand. The ambulance men placed Sue Ellen on a stretcher and between their conversations John Ross picked up that it was a matter of urgency that they get her to Dallas Memorial Hospital. Nodding in appreciation to the couple who had stayed with him until the ambulance had arrived John Ross quickly got into the back of the ambulance with his mother, taking her hand in his, once more.

"I'm staying with her; I'm not leaving her on her own." John Ross adamantly refused to leave his mother's side as the doctors attempted to take her through to the emergency room.

"Look Mr Ewing, you need to leave us to do our job, we will do the best we can for your mother but right now you're holding us up and that's not helping. The best thing you can do is try and calm down until we know exactly how hurt she is. Maybe there's someone you could call, your family?" The doctor's words made sense but John Ross was still reluctant to leave his mother completely in their hands, he hated feeling powerless.

"Fine, I'll call my family but as soon as you know anything I want you out here telling me alright."

"Of course." The doctor agreed before ordering his team to quickly take the woman to room four.

"Where is she, how bad is it?" Bobby had driven himself and Ann to the hospital as soon as he'd received John Ross' call, Christopher and Elena were on their way too but Emma had been out and Ann couldn't get through to her mobile.

"Nobody's told me anything. They just took her off to some room and said they'd do their best, whatever the hell that means."

"I'm sure someone will let us know what's happening soon John Ross, in the meantime can I get anyone a coffee or something?" Ann comfortingly rubbed her husband's shoulder, he stood very on edge next to her and she wanted him to know that she was there for him. John Ross sat silently and Bobby went and sat next to him thanking her for the offer and stating that coffee sounded like a great idea.

As Ann went to find a machine Bobby and John Ross sat awkwardly next to one another.

"She'll be alright you know, she's strong." Bobby sounded confident, he knew that sometimes Sue Ellen could go off the rails – they'd all been witness to that the night before, but she'd been through a lot in life and he knew in his heart that she'd pull through. John Ross made no reply.

"Did she slip, I mean, how did it happen?" Bobby didn't mean to pry; mostly he just wanted to get John Ross talking rather than sit there in such an uncomfortable silence. Furthermore, he'd been a little confused when he got the call, last he knew Sue Ellen was simply going round to sort things out with her son then the next thing he knows is that she's had an awful accident.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean 'you don't know'? She was with you wasn't she, she'd come round to sort things out, to apologise."

"I know that!" He shouted standing abruptly as his uncle's questions touched a nerve. He sat back down again, noticing passers-by in the corridor staring at him. "She did come but we argued, I said some terrible things Uncle Bobby, lord I told her she was dead to me! Then I heard her scream and when I saw the blood… she has to be okay, she has to know I didn't mean what I said, I was just so angry, I just wanted her to –"

"Alright, alright, calm down. She knows you love her. Sometimes we say things we don't mean because we just don't know how to tell other people we love them and Sue Ellen understands that." Bobby moved a little closer and rubbed John Ross' shoulder in a sign of support. For the most part these two never got along, John Ross was just too much like his father, and this was no exception. JR was forever putting Sue Ellen down – the fights they had sometimes were extraordinary, but deep down he too had loved her dearly.

"How's Sue Ellen?" – "Is there any news? Sorry the coffee isn't all that great." Christopher and Elena had arrived just as Ann returned with the coffees.

"Hey Christopher, thanks Annie, we still haven't heard anything but I'm sure the doctors won't leave us in the dark for much longer. Why don't we all just sit down until someone comes with the news?" Bobby got the family sitting down together and they all waited silently until a doctor came over and enquired whether they were the Ewing's or not.

"Yes we're –" Bobby went to answer.

"How's my mother?" John Ross impatiently interrupted.

"Sue Ellen suffered a severe head injury when she fell but upon examination we found no reason to suggest that there should be any permanent damage although we are waiting for her to regain consciousness before we can check all vital signs. She broke her left arm and has a few other cuts and bruises but considering how violently she fell I'd say she's a pretty lucky woman." The doctor reassured the family, but they all continued to stare at him a little uneasy.

"Can I see her?" John Ross spoke more softly now that he'd listened to what the doctor had said. He didn't exactly feel relieved, his mother was still badly hurt but, the doctor seemed pretty sure that she would recover and that was the main thing - it wasn't perfect, but it could have been a hell of a lot worse.

"As I said, Ms Ewing still hasn't regained consciousness but if you'd like to see your mother briefly I won't object, although it will have to be you alone."

"You go John Ross; we'll wait here for you alright." Bobby nodded to his nephew as he watched him follow the doctor who would take him to his mother.

"This is her room, the lights are off as she will be disorientated when she wakes up and the bright light may be uncomfortable. I'm afraid you can only be with her for five minutes today, but there will be more appropriate visiting times tomorrow."

"Thanks." His reply was all the politeness John Ross could manage as he walked into the room.

Although the lights were off, John Ross could make out the outline of his mother's body lying in the bed. Several tubes weaved around her and a faint beeping could be heard from one of the machines. There was a chair in the corner of the room and he moved it next to the bedside before sitting down. Once again, he took Sue Ellen's hand into his own.

"I'm so sorry mamma. All those things I said, I didn't mean any of it, it's just been so, well, my father and then when I saw you like that – I'm so used to you being strong for me, no matter what trouble I get into you're there but last night… Still, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that and if you want to hit me again when you get out of here that's fine. As long as you're there…" He couldn't speak for a moment as the lump in his throat threatened to allow his tears to spill out. Instead he stroked her hand, hoping that he was providing some comfort even if his words didn't.

Suddenly, the faint beeping became a loud blaring noise and a bright flashing red light shone through the darkness.

"What's going on?" John Ross jumped up from the chair as a nurse followed by the doctor rushed into the room. "What's happening?"

"Sir, could you please leave the room." Another nurse had entered the room and gently pulled on John Ross' arm to try and get him to vacate. John Ross stood frozen, staring at the bed as the doctor and nurse frantically spoke and moved around his mother.

"I'm not leaving her."

"Please sir, just let the doctor do his job." The nurse tried once again to get John Ross to leave the room and this time he complied, realising that there was nothing he could do to help by standing there.

"John Ross what's happening?" Bobby ran down the corridor as he noticed his nephew reluctantly leaving one of the rooms. As they'd been sitting waiting for him to return they'd seen doctors and nurses running in the direction that John Ross had been taken and when he'd heard one of them saying something about Ms Ewing he, and the rest of the family, had followed.

"I was just sitting there and then there was this noise and flashing lights and they're in there all around her and nobody will tell me what's going on." He spoke frantically as his family joined him outside of Sue Ellen's room.

The conversation of the medical staff and sound of their movements could be heard for a good ten minutes. When the sounds finally quietened, the family watched the nurses leave the room before the doctor came out to speak to them.

"It was touch and go for a while there, but we've managed to stabilise her again. We're hopeful that she will regain consciousness soon, as with many head injuries it's difficult to assess how badly injured the person is when they are unresponsive. My team will be on call all night and Ms Ewing will receive round the clock care but so I would suggest that you all go home, get some rest and return here in the morning. The next few days are going to be vital and she'll need your support."

"Thank you, doctor." Ann said politely as he walked away.

"Let's do what he said John Ross. Let's all go back to Southfork and make sure we're prepared to be here first thing tomorrow for Sue Ellen." As Bobby spoke, John Ross stared at the wall between him and his mother as if he could see right through it. After a moment of silence he turned and walked out of the hospital with his family.

**As always, please let me know what you think and make any suggestions. Many thanks, M :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm sorry that it has been such a long time since I've updated! I mistakenly thought that I'd already posted this chapter, but now that it's finally up I hope you will all enjoy it :)**

"Mamma, just hold onto my arm there alright?" John Ross gently helped his mother out of the car then held onto her tightly as if she might just fall apart if he were to let go.

"Honestly John Ross I feel so much better now, those doctors worked wonders and I've had weeks to recover." Sue Ellen smiled as she spoke, she was grateful that her son was so concerned about looking after her, but at the same time she didn't want him to worry himself. As she had begun to recuperate in the hospital they'd taken the time to talk privately and attempt to sort out their differences. In a strange way they'd managed to grieve for JR together and although it hadn't been the best of circumstances, Sue Ellen's accident had almost given them a fresh start.

"The doctor said you would still need to take it easy mamma and that's exactly what you're going to do." John Ross led her towards the door, maintaining his solid grip on her arm. The thought of losing her forever had thoroughly scared him. For his whole life he had concentrated on making his father proud and following in his footsteps. Now he realised that he loved his mother just as much and that looking after her was as important as living up to the image of JR Ewing.

Sue Ellen felt a little strange being bought back to Southfork. In reality it was no longer where she lived, yet she knew that in her heart this would always be her home. Her family had insisted that she come back here and be looked after for the indefinite future and she couldn't argue with them after all of their kindness.

"Sue Ellen, it's so good to have you back!" Bobby embraced her and gave her a kiss on the cheek as John Ross led her into the main living and kitchen area of the house.

"How are you feeling? Do you need to sit down?" Ann walked over and also fussed over Sue Ellen as she arrived.

"You know I am a little tired, I think I might just go up and rest if you all don't mind." Honestly she was fine but right now it felt rather overwhelming to have them all crowding round her and she felt that John Ross might relax for a moment if he felt she were safely tucked up in bed.

"Sure mamma shall I take you to your room?"

"No, no I'll be fine darling. I'll be back down for dinner later." She smiled as she left the room to make her way upstairs.

After a few hours had past Sue Ellen felt that she should go downstairs and make an effort to talk to everyone. They had all been so kind to her, caring and present as she recovered in the hospital and now that she'd had a little time alone to gather her thoughts together she wanted to show them how appreciative she was of their kindness. It wasn't quite dinner time but the faint voices she heard as she came downstairs informed her that people were gathered in the dining area. As she walked forward, Sue Ellen hesitated; the faint conversation became clearer as she drew closer and she heard her own name being mentioned.

"Look John Ross I know she's your mother but I've known Sue Ellen for a very long time, she's like a sister to me, and I'm telling you that she will not suddenly 'become ok' she needs looking after or else she'll fall straight into that trap again and eventually we won't be able to save her from herself."

It was Bobby's voice she could hear as she leant against the wall out of sight but close enough to hear what they were saying. She waited for John Ross to come to her defence; sure that he would not take his uncle's words without a fight.

"Don't you think I know that? I'm not stupid Uncle Bobby, she's been sober for a long time now but that night she scared the hell outta me! I can't stand the thought of her drinking and being like that all the time and that's why I'm trying to be there for her."

"Trying isn't good enough John Ross, we need to keep an eye on her at all times. She may come across like she's coping but I've been there when she would sneak around the house hiding bottles away and then be found passed out in her room." Bobby saw his nephew flinch at the story as the hard truth hit the boy. "Look, I'm not trying to scare you with stories here it's just been so hard for me to see that she would do this again. I watched her pull her life together and be strong and sober for such a long time that this just kills me."

"I will do whatever it takes to make sure none of us have to feel that way again Uncle Bobby."

"Perhaps a sanatorium might do the trick huh Bobby?" Sue Ellen couldn't remain silent any longer as her son and brother-in-law spoke about her like a patient who needed to be nursed for the rest of her life. "That worked for JR didn't it, getting me locked away until I was so desperate that I came crawling back to Southfork even though I could hardly bear to be here." She stood strong in front of them taking advantage of their silence as they hadn't expected her to be there. It stung Sue Ellen to see Ann standing by her husband having not spoken one word of defence for her when they were supposedly such good friends.

"Mamma" – "Sue Ellen" John Ross and Bobby spoke over one another, neither knowing where to begin.

"You know I'd never send you back there Sue Ellen, John Ross and I, we're just concerned that's all." Bobby was still a little flustered by the fact that she had heard him speaking so openly about her, especially about her past which she so evidently preferred to keep concealed.

"Look I realise I made a huge mistake by getting drunk but I was in a dark place. JR's death it really –" She could still barely talk about it now without choking up, "I just had a terrible moment of weakness, but I feel that I've been punished enough. The hurt in your eyes and then my accident, well, in some ways it all taught me my lesson once again so I do not need you all looking after me as if I'm some drunken time-bomb waiting to explode."

"None of us think that Sue Ellen, we just care for you so much." Ann spoke for the first time.

"Well that's not what it sounded like. It seems to me the only reason you got me to come back here was so that you could keep me under surveillance like some sort of criminal!" She's tried her best to remain calm but now she was losing her temper and her voice was raised.

"Come on now Sue Ellen don't you think you're exaggerating this whole situation a little." Bobby couldn't stop himself from reacting to her evident anger. All they were trying to do here was look out for her as a family, agreeably speaking behind her back hadn't been the best of ways to go about things but Bobby still felt that Sue Ellen was taking the whole thing too far.

"No Bobby, no I do not. I've spent so much of my life being controlled by other people thinking they know what's best for me. Hell, that's what turned me to drink in the first place! I thought that I was coming here to rest whilst we started afresh as a family, whilst we began to lead lives without JR Ewing but no, nothing's changed. All I see is you turning into your brother more and more as each day passes and I will not allow you to take control of my life just because he isn't here to do it himself anymore." With that she left the room, marching upstairs to re-pack the items she had un-packed just a few hours ago.

As she stood in the room that she had once shared with JR, Sue Ellen took a deep breath trying her very hardest not to cry as she filled up her suitcase.

"Mamma, can I come in please?" John Ross's voice could be heard just outside the door which she had made a childish point of slamming when she'd entered.

"John Ross all I want you to do right now is to get the car ready to take me to my home."

He took the fact that she was even speaking to him as a sign that he could enter and slowly opened the door. Sue Ellen took yet another deep sigh as her son entered and slumped herself down on the side of the bed.

"Mamma I'm sorry about what you heard. We had no right to be talking about you behind your back like that but I didn't know what to do and well Uncle Bobby he-"

"-has experience." She completed his sentence as he struggled for the right thing to say that wouldn't upset her too badly. "Maybe he was right, maybe I overreacted but you see John Ross it took me such a long time to become strong and independent. Giving up alcohol was so much more than beating an addiction for me; it was achieving freedom that really meant something. So for Bobby to see me as that vulnerable drunk who can't look after herself, well, that's just too painful."

"So you won't stay?" Now that he could see how much calmer she was he took a seat next to her. Deep down he had been hopeful that she'd eventually decide to stay at Southfork permanently.

"After that little outburst I doubt I'd be very welcome." Her attempt to make the situation a little lighter was dampened by her sadness.

"I own half of Southfork now remember. My home is your home mama, Southfork is where you belong, you know that."

"Oh John Ross, after all the trouble I've caused here over the years, after all the pain…"

"After me?" John Ross asked, beginning to realise that all his mother really saw in Sothfork were all her mistakes in life.

"No! Never you, John Ross, you were the only good thing, the only glimpse of happiness that me and your father had together that couldn't be spoilt by our own stupidity. I know we weren't the best of parents but we both loved you – I still love you, very much and you must know that. Having you was…" She couldn't continue as she began to choke up once more. She managed a smile as her son took her hand in his.

"Then you know deep down that this is your home, it's our home. Regardless of mistakes that have been made and all the more that probably will be made, we belong at Southfork mama."

"When did you become this responsible John Ross, it feels like just yesterday you were a baby in my arms."

"The day I became head of the family mama, Bobby may own half of Southfork but I will not let JR down and with you by my side I know that will never happen."

**I hope that it wasn't too disappointing after the wait, let me know what you think. M :)**


End file.
